As I pressed “end call” on my phone I wondered what I had just agreed to. Why didn’t I ask more questions? What was I thinking?
That morning started with preparing a devotional for others, not for me (or so I thought.)
It started with two questions:
1. What is the biggest dream for yourself that you can think of?
2. Think about whether your dream is according to God's will?
If you know me you know dreaming big is not my thing! I like to dream small, but somehow God seems to turn these very small dreams into something much bigger than me.
I think the reason I like to dream small is because of fear. Fear of failing the people around me because WHAT IF I don't do a good job? WHAT IF I don't meet their expectations? WHAT IF I fail? Would people be disappointed? This devotional was turning out to be a recipe for disaster for me. I was saying one thing but thinking quite another!
At the beginning of the Prom Closet, Juan often said "This is going to be big" my response was always “Nope, I don't think so.” Through the years many people have added their thoughts about the Prom Closet that echoes Juan's belief.
My response is always “Nope, I am not saying and I am not dreaming it because if I do, it is out of my mouth and into God's ears and I can't take it back. SO NOPE! No worries I AM NOT writing it either. What If God reads this and then is for His eyes and I can't take it back! so Ha! I like the Prom closet to be "small!"
As you may know, I lost that battle. God took this ministry and made it bigger in a blink of an eye and I had no say so!! It became pretty clear to me that this ministry was never ours - it has always belonged to God. He started it with six dresses and two crazy ladies 10 years ago.
Back to my phone call…
When this ministry started I never dreamed I would get this kind of phone call.
“Hi Aileen” a nice the lady said. “I have a few dresses to donate."
That should have been my first sign but I am a very slow learner. After I agreed to take the dresses a few questions came to mind. How many? Do we have the room? Too late I guess. I have already agreed.
When she finally told me how many I was speechless. It was probably only a few seconds but it seemed like an eternity.
"Hello. Are you there?" she asked.
All I could say was “You know that about 3,000 is not a few dresses."
Yes you are reading that right. Last Sunday evening, we hooked up the grey trailer, and two families headed to pick them up.
You are probably thinking WHAT? WHERE DID Y'ALL PUT ALL THOSE DRESSES? They are all in the "war room" We named the room that because of the mountains of dresses from donations we would have when we first started the ministry. Mountains of dresses gave the name to our war room because we always went into battle with each new load and when we got a handle on it even more dresses would come and the battles would continue!
Are you thinking what I am thinking - WHAT IS GOD DOING? This is not a small dream!! When did it get so big! And why didn't He warn us?
I guess regardless of my desire for a small dream it doesn't stop God from doing what He does best!