"Your love made the way to let mercy come in ..."

 When I entered the prom closet recently and saw all the racks, boxes, dresses, and shoes everywhere, I felt overwhelmed and embarrassed.  What would people think? I felt that I needed to clean it up and get things looking decent.  So, I got busy. 

As I worked, I was reminded how this beautiful mess was started 12 years ago because of HIS vision. It was then that I realized my faith walk is just like the prom closet! A HOT MESS! I don't think Tammy, or I could have ever dreamt of all God has done and provided through the miracle that is the prom closet.

At last count we have given out at least 4,145 dresses and probably many more because we didn’t keep up with every single one. The number of dresses given out seems like a big number and it is!

For 12 years there have been so many God stories that have made us cry, laugh, inspired, and challenged.  We have the best seat in the house because numbers are just a representation of the impact, but we have the privilege to see deeper and see God at work as He brings each of us into His purpose.   

For the last few years my faith has looked like the Prom Closet - a HOT mess and just like the Prom Closet I was embarrassed to allow others to see that.  What would people think? How do I begin to clean things up again? Start again, find my faith, and find connection?

I heard God say “Aileen what are you doing here?” while doing my Bible study a couple of weeks ago.   The topic was 1 king 19 where Elijah experienced God's power and miracles (We all have experienced His power and miracles in our lives.) But at some point Elijah hid because of fear (ouch… is that what I have been doing lately?)

"Then the word of the Lord came to him ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’” 1 Kings 19:9b as Elijah is hiding in a cave! 

The lesson doesn't end there.  Elijah doesn't answer the question but let’s face it God knows our heart and He knows why we hide. I have been hurt, I am afraid, I am not enough, my faith is not strong enough, I am not equipped, _____________(fill in the blank.)

For 12 years I have experienced God and seen the miracles he has done through the Prom Closet but lately I have been hiding in a cave much like Elijah.  Afraid to get out.

But this song hits hard and for the most part I can't really listen to it because it makes me cry. It's my worship song for now as I try to figure out how to step out of the cave:

"Alone in my sorrow and dead in my sin 

Lost without hope with no place to begin 

Your love made the way to let mercy come in 

When death was arrested, and my life began" 

With lyrics like “I am not a prisoner” and “Jesus arose with our freedom in hand” WOW! talk about raising eyebrows!

Faith is complicated and never perfect, and I am always a work in progress. I am still inside the cave, but it is not as deep in there anymore.

As we move towards a new milestone, the TEEN years in February of 2023 let’s not forget the miracles that have happened.  And they won’t be the last ones…. 

Blessings,

Aileen

The Day the Lights Went Out

On our third week of the Prom Closet this year something strange happened that has never happened in our 12-year history. The lights went out. 

Have you ever been in darkness? During those times I have not always been at my smartest. For example, one time at home when the lights went out, I decided to look for a candle but couldn't find one.  I decided to open the refrigerator for some light. Go ahead and laugh. Definitely not my smartest move since the fridge runs with electricity.

However, I realized something as my eyes were trying to adjust to the dark.  I was able to remember familiar things around the house so I could get where I needed to go without getting hurt. (Or at least that is what I thought until I stepped on my son's tiny Lego.)  I tried not to cry as my eyes adjusted to the dark and my foot throbbed in pain.

Darkness is not a place that God has designed for us to remain in. We can take the darkness for granted and not even think about it.  Better yet, you can look at the darkness in a deep and spiritual way. 

In my faith walk I had moments that felt like either the lights went out or they were too dim.  My eyes were adjusting to get familiar with my surroundings and keep moving forward without getting hurt.  Much like moving around in my house in the dark I can still get hurt (remember the Lego) but my eyes can adjust to the surroundings.

When the lights went out at the Prom Closet we had only been open an hour and a half and were full of shoppers.  To my surprise (eye roll and all) God used that moment!  It was pitch black inside and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I realized it was hard to pick out dresses in the dark.  Before long phone flashlights came on to fits of laughter and fun as the shoppers adapted to the new situation.

Are you ready to be my twin again?

I apologized to people for the inconvenience.  I felt like I needed to do that even though I was not the one who broke the tree that took the power lines down (I think it was the strong squirrel that hangs around.) I told them that they will never forget this experience! Who else is going to give them a prom shopping experience in the dark? But, did you notice a couple of things I mentioned before?

1. My eyes were trying to adjust to the dark.

2. People couldn't be in the dark for long before turning on their phone flashlights. 

In my faith walk sometimes I have tried to adjust and just roll with it. After all isn’t it my responsibility to grow my faith? At times it was hard to see people holding their flashlights in the form of hope, grace, and mercy.   I was missing God because I was focused on adjusting my eyes to my surroundings - not realizing how faith grows. 

Faith grows when surrounded by people who love God that are willing to share their light when it is too dark for you to see God's mercy, grace, and love.

That day at the Prom Closet strangers were surrounding each other with their flashlights. They let their little light shine and instead all I could think of was “are the lights ever going to come back on?”

We are created to chase the light because darkness is not a place God has designed for us to remain. Just like the tree that fell on the power lines and took the light away from the Prom Closet, there are things in our lives that happen that take the away our faith in people.  We often hope that someone else with a good deed will restore it forgetting that true faith doesn’t come from people.  People can’t provide you with faith only God can. However, we have responsibilities as people of God. 

1 Peter 2:9 New International Version

9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

It reminds me of the lyrics to the song Gratitude that has become a challenge to me in my praise time:

So come on my soul, oh, don't you get shy on me

Lift up your song, 'cause you've got a lion

Inside of those lungs

Get up and praise the Lord

If you are struggling to see THE LIGHT, you are not alone.  Remember that there is a lion inside of your lungs.  Don’t get shy and dim your light.  Lift your voice! 

After all, you are a light chaser! 

Blessings, 

Aileen

Today I want to share about Faith and how God uses the one place that challenges me every time I step in it - the Prom Closet.

Why would Jesus single out my lack of faith? 

I hope this has not been you but if you can relate, then we are twins LOL.

Before opening for the season, I was excited, scared, overwhelmed and yes full of doubt. Wow! What a familiar feeling somehow, I found myself back to day one of the Prom Closet 12 years ago. I remembered standing in the hallway staring and thinking...would anyone show up?  After not having normal years of proms, would anyone remember we are here? 

On the day that we had our "work out day" some of our Prom Squad came to get the Prom Closet ready for opening day. We were busy cleaning, hanging dresses, dusting, moving things around, laughing, enjoying each other... it was a familiar feeling of fellowship that only God can put together.

My doubts grew from there.  The little voice in my head was now real voices, many voices really asking the same question.  “Do you think people will come?”  I will admit I as trying to stay positive when just wanting to check it all off.

The real test came the first week of appointments.  That week I had my regular Bible study and the topic was Jesus’s story about the mustard seed that grew into a mighty tree.  I realized God could use my small amount of faith.  He isn't asking me for a mountain size faith (one day I will get there.) For now, my little mustard seed is all He needs if I am willing to let go and sit at His feet.

So, with my little sassy voice I said “fine, ok this is yours and as for my doubts, well, those are yours, too.”

As I mentioned week one of appointments was on like Donkey Kong and I was in for yet another lesson.  First week I booked for the opening month, and it looked like the first weeks of our first season.  But before I knew it (because I didn't learn very well) the second week came around and we were completely booked through the second week of March! 

Can you see what is happening? God singled out my lack of faith. I am the one that set up the appointments and I talked to people before they stepped into the Prom Closet and lacked faith (please anyone? Am I an island?) Oh well.  God wasn't done with me yet because my Bible study the following week in Matthew 14 these verses stood out

Matthew 14:28-31 New International Version

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Can you see how I became Peter?  I learned that faith is not defined by a specific moment of doubt. Faith is much bigger than a short time of questioning. Our faith isn't the object of our faith; it's a tool we use to see, and grab hold of Jesus.

As I navigate through my lack of faith, I need to remember to trust that my questions will be met with gentleness. My doubts were met with mercy to allow my mustard seed of faith to grow a little bit more. He took the time to give me grace.  He looked at me! 

If at time you feel the same way, I can tell you this: tomorrow I will doubt again, you will doubt again but we are going to be met with gentleness and mercy. I am not a workout kind of person, but I do know that I need to keep working on those faith muscles!

Blessings, 

Aileen